Dealing with workplace identity

I woke up in a panic, my pulse racing at an all-time high. Then it hit me: two decades spent in the corporate world had left me feeling unsatisfied, miserable, and empty. My entire identity had become wrapped up and reduced to a mere "title." It wasn't a fancy title, but it defined how people addressed me, setting the tone for the demeaning dialogue that ensued.

Unlike many of my friends, I never chased after titles. I saw them simply as a means to afford the things I enjoyed. But the reality is, many will do anything for that coveted leadership role. I've witnessed people lose their minds over it — the perks are endlessly discussed. Maybe you get your own admin, a prime parking spot, more spending power, or extra vacation days, but at what cost? The bigger the title, the higher the expectations, something I could never contend with.

Titles hold significant weight. Even after leaving the office, during happy hour conversations, the inevitable question arises: "So, what do you do?" Can we please stop asking people this? Instead, inquire about what brings them joy; it opens the door for genuine conversation. Sometimes, I'd give an answer that sounded complicated, deterring further probing. I yearned to work in the creative field, as it felt more authentic, even if it carried the "starving artist" stigma. After all, "taking risks" wasn't my forte — I liked to eat. I hadn't realized the extent to which a title carried such weight. Mention you're a doctor, lawyer, or engineer, and people think it's cool. But if you're in a support role, there's often a slight stigma attached.

I once had a manager, exuding arrogance, who'd throw fits at the airport if his seating wasn't in zones 1 or 2. He'd scream into his phone, "Don't they know who I am?" It caught me off guard. I wanted to retort, "No, "Reese Witherspoon", they don't." Then there are those who quip, "Call me whatever you want, just make sure you pay me." At the end of the day, what truly matters is what you do outside of work — you assume a whole new identity. Whether you're a parent, spouse, sibling, friend, or even the grouchy neighbor or the person with the cool car, placing titles on people feels cliché because, in the end, you can't take them with you when you go.

illustration courtesy of <a href="https://www.vecteezy.com/free-vector/work-stress">Work Stress Vectors by Vecteezy</a>